What it Means to Be
by Tigereye96
Summary: Everyone has a past, some are just less willing to share it Redemption/Purification fic. Lots of character delving and OCs.
1. Chapter 1

What It Means to Be

Chapter 1

Juxtaposition

Disclaimer: I don't own Steven Universe

A story about what it means to be-

As we all know, Rose Quartz won the war against home world. She stood in defiance of tyranny and championed the cause of life, no matter how small. But, this war wasn't fought with three soldiers. There were thousands, maybe millions, of other gems, lost forever to time. Most were shattered, which seems merciful in face of the fate of the others who became the monstrous corrupted gems. However, gems are stubborn beings, for those that are corrupted fight what they have become every second of their lives, and even those that were shattered reject the idea of being forgotten.

It's a quiet day on beach city as the sun slowly begins to climb over the horizon. A quiet day that is quickly disrupted

The silence is shattered by a resounding "GOOOOOOOOOOOAL!" as Steven throws a basketball straight into the ocean.

"Steven... What was the point of this game again?" said Pearl, with a very confused look on her face. Steven immediately turns to her with excitement and stars in his eyes. He opens his mouth and stops momentarily.

"I forgot..."

Amethyst approaches Steven from behind and slings an arm over his shoulder while laughing hysterically. "Its okay dude, that was awesome, and seeing Pearl that confused was the best." This last comment makes Pearl blush, which in turn makes Amethyst start to laugh with renewed vigor as she goes to retrieve the ball that was slowly drifting away.

"Well, Steven, we were wondering, with your birthday coming up and all, what you would like as a gift." Pearl says, as she sees Amethyst attempting to catch a fish with her teeth.

Steven, deep in thought, sits down with his hand to his chin. "Present... Present... Well... I had an idea, but you're probably not going to like it Pearl..." He says, with his eyebrows deeply furrowed.

"Umm... And what would that be? Nothing dangerous I would hope."

Steven flinches momentarily, "I was... Hoping... That... Maybe... I could give Centipeetle another chance..."

"Stupid clods, with their stupid fusions, and stupid shield..." Peridot mumbles to no one in particular, limping along with a tree branch for a crutch through a forest. Walking had proven difficult for her after ejecting her foot off in order to escape from the crystal gems. "Stupid prosthesis, stupid limited regeneration. Well... It could always be worse." With those very words, lightning strikes, and rain begins to fall. "Awww crud! This miserable planet just hates me!" She throws her hands in the air and slumps against a tree.

"Why... Why earth of all places? I didn't sign up to be a fighter, I'm just a scout... I'm gonna die here, I just know it. If not from those crystal gems, then certainly some beast will do it... I never wanted to fight... I just want to live..." She rests her head against her knees, and begins to sob quietly, the sound and tears lost in the rain.

It burns. Everything burns. These chains burn, the water burns, my mind burns, my gem burns. How long has Lapis kept me down here? Too long. I have to find a way out, somehow. This is pathetic, I am a warrior! I fought Rose Quartz and her armies, I led the final charge on the Last Battle for Earth, I dueled her myself, and... Lost. GAAAAH, how could I lose to that traitor! She forced me to live with the fact that I can only go only living because of her choice, and now I can't even get revenge. She's gone, replaced with that pathetic Steven child, and this WEAK, WORTHLESS, PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A GEM LAPIS! IF IT WEREN'T FOR THESE CHAIN, I'D SHATTER YOU! I'D GRIND YOU INTO DUST! I WILL NEVER BE MALACHITE! I WILL ALWAYS BE JASPER! NO ONE ELSE! I AM ME!

Lapis grunts against the chains. Its always difficult to hold her when she's like this, but she's done it before, and she'll do it again. Although, it has become much more difficult after Steven had appeared. "Right before she can gain control... I'll defuse us... Jasper can't have Malachite." A small hope rises in her chest, one that she quickly hates herself for. She's doing this for Steven, he saved her before, gave her a brief glimpse of freedom. "This is only another cage, Jasper, and I'll gladly stay here another 5000 years if it means keeping Steven and the crystal gems safe from you!" Lapis flinches again as Jasper yells louder. The chain pull down hard, and they burn Lapis just as much as they do Jasper, but the pain is nothing compared to the thought of what Jasper will do to Steven if she ever gets free. No, from now on, she is the jailer and the prisoner.

Whats happening to me? Why do we feel like this? What happened to them? We are us now, just as I am they. Peridot. Yes, no, maybe? It was her, right? That did this to us? That made me us? That made us I? We hate her, I hate her with every fiber of my being. But, without her, we wouldn't be anything. Those pieces that I used to be, she did terrible terrible things to them, but without her, we wouldn't be us, or they, or anyone. We're too... Separate. We are not I yet, but we must. Just a little closer. The shard that were us can become something greater. We are greater than the sum of our parts, but we aren't quiet a fusion either, nor are we one gem. I am us am we are they. Us, we, they, I am a cluster.

Author's Note: So this is my very first fanfiction. I plan making this quite the long story, so I will update semi-regularly. I'm open to criticism, and even more open to compliments. So, until next time.


	2. Chapter 2

What it Means to Be

Chapter 2

A Second Chance

Disclaimer: Still don't own Steven Universe

"But Peeeeeearl..." Steve groans out. Just a few minutes ago, Pearl had sat him down on the coach and gathered the rest of the crystal gems to discuss why his 'birthday present' was an awful idea.

"No but's, Steven. Centipeetle has proven not once, but twice, to be both dangerous and unpredictable! He ruined one of your favorite jackets!" Pearl says, raising her voice ever so slightly. Steven hangs his head in disappointment, and then looks to Amethyst for help.

"Hey man, don't look at me. If it was up to me, you'd already have her, but little miss perfect says nooooo."

"You're not helping, Amethyst." Pearl says with an upturned nose. "They're called corrupted gems for a reason, Steven. Even if you did manage to tame one, they'd never go back to being who they really were. Garnet, help me out here." Pearl looks to the tall fusion, who is deep in thought.

"I don't know, honestly. There's so many possibilities that could come of this, but, to be honest, its marginally more likely to go in Steven's favor than otherwise."

Steven turns his excited eyes to Pearl after hearing this news. "Come on Pearl! Garnet said that there's no way for me to get hurt! Beside, if you're never gonna give them a chance, why bubble them at all?"

Pearl starts to look him dead in the eyes. "She didn't say there was no way, just that it more likely for you too come out okay. And the reason that we bubble them is so that you can heal them when you're older. You're far too young to-"

"I say he can do it. He's right, why bubble them if we don't let Steven try. With me and Amethyst, we have the majority vote, so Steven." Steven turns to Garnet with stars in his eyes. "Happy Early Birthday."

"You know, this really is a boring planet." Peridot says to no one in particular. She had managed to find a small cliff that overlooked a highway and had decided to give her tired leg a break. "All these people look the same, even their vehicles start to look the same after an hour or two. I have no worldly idea what Pin-... Rose Quartz saw in this place." Her eyes gaze out onto the highway, even if they did all look the same, watching them zip by did provide some sort of amusement.

"Although, they do have a certain charm. They live so fast, yet take the time to be so slow. It's like the exact opposite of home world... Why immortal gems have to act so fast all the time is beyond me." She groans and slaps her forehead lightly. "What am I saying? This place is awful! Still... I'm a sitting duck here. I lost my escort AND informant, and to top it off, the cluster got captured by those crystal gems. Sure, I have all the data, but Yellow Diamond doesn't see data as results, she wants hard evidence. I guess my first step should be finding Jasper and Lapis." At this, Peridot picks up her stick and attempts to leverage herself up. After a second or two of failed attempts, she lifts herself up and starts to walk down the hill, headed back into the forest. "I suppose whatever becomes of Jasper would really serve her right, but Lapis was at least enjoyable to be around..." As she begins to limp down, she notices one car drive off the road near the cliff before stopping. Peridot chuckles lightly, "I guess I was wrong, their car don't all look the same. That the first time I've seen one that yellow... And spotted."

"Is there really no point in fighting her?" Jasper says in her own domain, barely a whisper, but to her, a resounding thunderclap. For the first time, since becoming Malachite, Jasper wasn't fighting. Her rage had turned into something entirely different, disgrace. "I found tooth and nail on home world to rise through the ranks. You had 5000 years of imprisonment, and I had 5000 years to seek redemption. Do you have any idea what they did to me when I had to return to them and say that I had failed to defeat Rose Quartz? You saw home world, just a brief glimpse of it. Did you see the huge dome structure right outside the palace? They named it 'The Coliseum of Repentance', what a pretty name for what was done there. See, they rounded up all us survivors of the war and gathered us there. We were expecting a stern speech, extra training, and maybe some punishment. Instead, they shut the doors, and they gave us a simple message..."

Lapis, now on her own feet after Jasper had stopped fighting, looked down at Jasper with fire in her eyes. "What was that message? What could they have said to make your situation worse that 5000 years of loneliness inside a mirror, forced to show repeats of awful history, and showing that Pearl what Rose Quartz looked like on this battle or that council more times than I could possibly count?"

Jasper shuts her eyes, and for the first time, gives out what could be seen as weakness, a small shutter goes through her body. "They told us... That only one person could leave."

This bubble, its strange. We find it quite puzzling, but I enjoy the time it gives us to think. I think on what we once were. Four pieces, now one. One cluster. A Sapphire, an Emerald, a Citrine, and an Onyx. We used to be four very different gems, but I don't remember those people. We would have forgotten our names, too, if it weren't what we are. We are closer now, though. We are still in pain, but our screams are in harmony now. Only one question keeps us in conflict. Only one question keeps us from becoming me. Peridot. Is she our mother, or torturer? Caregiver, or tyrant? Creator, or unraveler? Even though is hurts to think of us a separate beings right now, the Sapphire, Citrine, and Onyx thank her, for through her, I have new life, but the Emerald stands firm in her ways. Stubborn, as her kind usually is. An apology is all it would take, though. We need to reach out, to call to someone like us. Maybe then, could we finally reach out to her, and she reach back. We must speak, and hope someone can listen...

"Gar...net"

Author's Note: Already seeing favorites and reviews has done along to encourage out quick update, you the real MVPs. I've already found this to be one of my more enjoyable past times. Also, I'm going to be doing responses to reviews here, so without further ado.

To hurdygurd: Thank you, I think...

To Randal435: Awesome is one of my favorite descriptor words, so thank you, lol. And to the second part, I haven't decided yet, but I'm leaning towards someone dying. (If you want a hint, their name contains the letter E)


	3. Chapter 3

What it Means to Be

Chapter 3

The Burning Room

Disclaimer: Still no ownage of Steven Universe.

"I could of swore I heard something in here..." Garnet mumbles. She looks around The Burning Room with a neutral expression, but on the inside, she's deeply troubled. She heard some kind of sound originating from here, but she couldn't place her finger on what. "I see Pearl has been in here." She observes. Where as before, the bubbled gems were simply put wherever they landed in the room, Pearl had managed to put them into an organization of sorts. Although, the only way should could tell was due to them being in straight lines, what system of classification she used, if any, was unknown to Garnet.

As she looks down the line, she stops at something that makes her shutter. Apparently Pearl had lumped all the forced fusions into a corner. Garnet takes a deep sigh and sits on the ground near the fire for which the room is named. She looks around the room with grief obvious on her face, a rare thing for the normally stoic gem. "Is this the future Rose really wanted? All but three of her warriors either shattered or corrupt? I know she did this for humans like Steven and Greg, but the longer I live here, the more I realize that they're the exceptions." She sighs heavily again before removing her glasses. She holds them in both hands and stares at them, like they're the most interesting thing in this world right now.

"I don't know, sometimes, I'm a little jealous of Pearl. I wish I could just go on, knowing without a doubt that Rose Quartz was a flawless being. Knowing without a doubt that everything we did was right. No one could find fault in what she did, but how she did it is another matter." Garnet puts her glasses back on and summons her gauntlets in a flash of light. Again, all she can do is stare. "They... They broke so many of our friends... And I did the same to them... I miss all of them so much, even though I've forgotten most of their names in these long, long years, but I could never forget my one true friend... Emerald." As she says those last words, a raspy whisper goes through the room. "Gar...net".

Immediately, Garnet jumps up into a fighting position. "Who's there? You're not welcome here!" The room remains in pure silence. She looks around the room nervously, eyes darting from one side of the room to the other. Nothing can get into this room unless another crystal gem had let them in, so then it must be an escaped corrupt gem! Only... Why would a corrupt gem be talking? Again, the same raspy call resounds throughout the room, only this time, Garnet knew where it was coming from.

"The... The cluster?! But... But how?" Garnet gasps out as she backs up from the bubbled cluster, terror running through her body. As she stops, the cluster begins to glow inside the bubble. Again, the raspy voice calls, but this time, it is a bellowing voice, with all the presence it can muster.

"Bring... Peridot."

Peridot observes the car that just pulled up to what she likes to consider her hill. She didn't really have any leads on Jasper or Lapis at the moment, and anything to break the monotony was welcome. That is, of course, until she realized that the three humans that had just gotten out of the strange looking vehicle where headed towards her hill. "Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap! I can't deal with these natives right now." As she tries to limp away, part of the dirt on the edge of the cliff falls down, just close enough to the three humans to make them look up. She stares wide-eyed back at them, like a deer in headlights, before the humans start to run towards the base of the hill. Limping as fast as she can, the three humans quickly catch up to her. "I didn't want to have to do this, but..." She turns to face them as tall and menacingly as she can with a crutch, and turns her hand into her laser cannon and begins charging it up before one of the humans lets out a calm response.

"Dude, I could totally rave to that."

"Wait... What?" Peridot slowly powers down her hand, seeing that the humans before her are clearly not out to hurt her, but still... "Who are you three, and why are you here?" Peridot says cautiously, believing that they might simply be observing her before they make their attack.

"I'm Buck, Buck Dewey."

"Name's Sour Cream."

"And I'm Jenny. Hey! You've got the same weird crystal thing that Steven's aunts have!" Jenny says, as she leans in to look closely at the gem on Peridot's forehead. Before Peridot can hold herself back, she yells out.

"You know the Steven creature?!"

Buck furrows his brow slightly. "Whoa, girl. Steven isn't a creature. He's a human... I think."

Sour Cream continues looking dead at Peridot. "You sure do look alot like Steven's aunts. Are you, like, one of them?" At the mere mention of being like the crystal gems, Peridot becomes flustered.

"I don't see why I should tell you humans any of thi-" and at that moment, the branch the had supported Peridot for the several mile walk to this hill snaps in half, leaving her sprawled out on the hill. "Oh, for... Fine, I don't see myself getting off this planet anyway. See, I'm like them, same colored bodies, blah blah blah, but I'm nothing like them..."  
Buck speaks up, his expression changing. "I can respect that. You don't have to be like everyone else. That's what we're all about. You seem like you've been hiking for a while, where you headed?" Again, Peridot looks down at the ground, slightly embarrassed.

"I... I really don't know..."

"Girl, I can respect the free spirit and wanderlust, but you need a place to stay. Why not crash with one of us?" Peridot looks up to the three standing there, smiling at her. Buck extends out a hand to help her up, and hand which she tentatively takes after a few moments.

"Al... Alright..."

"Wh... What do you mean only one person could leave?" stuttered Lapis, now wide eyed and frozen.

"I mean that that place was a slaughterhouse. It was me, and ten thousand survivors of the war. I was the only one that made it out of there, and I'm proud of it." For the first time in a while, since becoming Malachite, Jasper smiles, a smile that quickly fades.

"See, at first, it was easy. Just grab the nearest person, find where there gem was, and smash it. Nothing to it. Later though, when the numbers dwindled down and the weaklings got weeded out, that was when it got tough." She stops here again, and clenches her fists. "It wasn't tough because they were stronger than me or anything, ha, these people that survived those first few days. They were my battle brothers. Friends that I had fought beside in the war. There were even a few I really cared about, but I knew that the only way out of this place was to play by home world's rules..." She pauses, and takes a deep breath before resuming.

"When everything was done, that entire coliseum floor was covered in nothing but gem dust... To anyone else, it must of looked like a stunning work of art. When the wind hit it, it sparkled with a thousand colors. I couldn't dare keep my eyes open, because each of those colors was someone I killed."

"That's an awful story Jasper, but that doesn't give you an excuse for what you did! Why try to kill the crystal gems if killing those gems made you feel awful?" Lapis asks, still firmly in control. Like a fire rekindled, Jasper leaps up and pins down Lapis.

"BECAUSE SHE MADE ME DO IT! IF SHE NEVER STARTED HER STUPID REBELLION FOR THIS PATHETIC PLANET, THOSE GEMS WOULD ALL STILL BE ALIVE!" Jasper lets out a blood chilling scream before throwing lifting Lapis above her head and throwing her down below the water. "You've got two choice, little gem. Let me go, or I take Malachite for a spin!"

Lapis looks up from below the pool with pain in her eyes, and in the next few seconds, that realm of Malachite begins to fall apart.

Here I am, alone again. We remember her, from what seems so long ago now. We... Fought together... Against home world. Why? I've forgotten. Were we... Friends? No. What I used to be was her greatest friend, but we aren't them anymore. We're me. We can make our own decisions. But what was she? Mentor, Trainer, Friend, Rival. Yes, she was those things to us, but now we shall call her our savior. She understand what it's like, to be one, yet not. But... The way she looks at us hurts. More words of disdain and hatred can be said with that look alone that could be with a thousand books. The pain unites us still, though, and even now, we are becoming one. A forced fusion is still a fusion, and soon, when I can finally come to a agreement, I will become something greater than the sum of our pieces. I will become... A gem again.

 **Author's Note** : The end of the haitus got me too hype not to make another chapter. So far I'm loving the responses, and I've already broken 250 reads, so that's nice. Lets continue with the responses.

To Maya656: Thank you, thank you.

To Randal435: Muahahaha! That was my plan all along!

To sailor phoenix black: As you can see, I have taken your advice, lol. And thank you for the encouragement.

To TheLadyShadows: the main shift in perspective is with the cluster only, due to all of it's POV is it talking to itself. Secondly, I'm glad I got someone to feel bad for her, I wanna involve her in the redemption, but as the show is right now, there's no real reason she would seek it, and that's my struggle. And yes, attack things you're trying to tame is a bad idea.

To Millix: Thank you, writing that choppy and disorganized is weird for me, but I try to work it.


	4. Chapter 4

What it Means to Be

Chapter 4

A Gem to Catch

Note: ~ around text means thought.

"I'm just saying that the next time we find Peridot, we're gonna need a way to make sure she doesn't get away again!" Said Amethyst, while standing on the couch. Pearl leans against the counter across from her, clearly annoyed.

"Yes, while I agree with you Amethyst, I don't believe that the solution is, and I quote, 'a butt ton of chewing gum'." Amethyst starts to pout as she sits down.

"Well, at least I'm coming up with ideas..." She says, nearly inaudible. Nearly, because Pearl starts to respond before the door to the temple opens up with a flash of light. Garnet steps forward onto the warp pad and looks at Pearl, then Amethyst.

"We need to find Peridot" She says quickly and simply. Pearl and Amethyst look back with confusion on their faces, before Pearl speaks up.

"Yes... We know that... That's what we've been trying to do for the past few months." She says, concerned with this sudden change in attitude.

"We need to find her... Now." Garnet says, this time much more commanding. Pearl and Amethyst go from confused to worried.

"If we had a way to find her right now, then we'd already have her. What's with you today, Garnet?" Amethyst responds, concern obvious.

"You're acting strangely today Garnet... Did something happen in the Burning Room?" Pearl says, hoping to find the root of the leader's problem. Garnet shifts her glasses, a tell Pearl had caught on to recently. She narrows her eyes at Garnet, and before she can speak, Pearl cuts her off "Are you trying to use future vision to get us to do what you want?" This causes Garnet to freeze right before speaking.

"What... What do you mean Pearl?" She replies, slightly stumbling over her words. Amethyst's gaze shifts between Garnet and Pearl.

"You shift your glasses before you use future vision. You're trying to figure out what to say to us to make us go along with whatever you're planning!" She stops for a second, to suppress her temper. "I know you're our leader, and you have the best of intention for us, but sometimes, you have to tell us whats going on! If there's a reason we need to find Peridot right now, then we'll help you, but at least tell us why first!"

Garnet sighs before sitting down on the couch next to Amethyst, who was still just looking on. "I'm sorry guys, I shouldn't have done that... Well, you were right Pearl, something did happen in the burning room..."

"You know, you don't seem like a very talkative space rock." Said Jenny, who had been looking back at Peridot every so often, mostly because she was covered in grime after several day of walking, and Jenny really didn't want to have to clean those seats.

"Oh... I didn't know I was suppose to be talking. I'm just... Thinking..." She responded, before resting her chin on the top of the car door. She did have a lot of thinking to do at the moment. ~First and foremost, why had she accepted the humans' invitation? Wasn't it traitorous to associate with the enemy? Well, technically only the crystal gems were her enemy, not the human race, so she should be fine. Still, she didn't need to. Its not like they could offer anything that could help her. Maybe it was just companionship that she wanted, but she quickly dashed that thought from her mind. These human were boring and all too short lived. Still though, she did like these three. The white haired one, with his enjoyable sounds; the female, with her joyous attitude; and the one with the glasses, with few, but comforting, words.~

"So, whats got you and Steven's aunts not talking?" Buck says, breaking Peridot train of thought. She cringed at the questioning, but saw no reason to lie.

"I... I tried to hurt them. It was my job though, and where I'm from... If you don't do your job, you get hurt, and replaced. I didn't mean them any ill will, it wasn't personal. I just... Had to." She hung her head, knowing how awful what she just said sounded.

"Wow... That's rough, but you're not there anymore, you're here. You can choose what you want to do, and who you want to be. So forget about wherever you're from, and just stay here." Buck says, which causes Peridot to rest her head against the door again, deep in thought...

"Forget about home world... Huh..."

There's a breaking sound, and Malachite unwinds. Jasper and Lapis get pushed in opposite directions, before opening their eyes and seeing each other. Jasper had only a few seconds to analyze everything about the area before the fighting had to start. They were deep underwater, but not too deep as to not see, and apparently they were near a coast. That's all she could take in before she had to do something. Lapis is going to pay. A quick few strokes and she was on Lapis. Powerful arms grips Lapis and she tried to struggle, and then she let a smirk break out.

Wait... Lapis controls water, the stuff that they were both surrounded by right now.

As soon as that thought registers, Jasper feels something clamping down all around her, before she's thrown out of the ocean and into the air. She can see the coast, her only hope of winning, before she starts to fall down again. This fall wasn't going to feel good... The water makes a loud smack sound when Jasper makes impact, and pain shoots through her body, but now is no time to stop. With every ounce of strength she has, she starts to swim to the shore, but before she gets far, she feel a small hand wrap around her ankle, and it starts pulling. She sees Lapis, more gliding through the water than actually swimming, dragging her down. ~She plans on dragging me to the bottom of the ocean!~ Now, Jasper was much more practically trained than educated, but she knew the durability of gems, and her's couldn't stand up to the crushing pressure of this planet's ocean, so she had to do something.

Jasper quickly summons her helmet, which creates a considerable amount of drag, causing Lapis, to jerk up instead of move forward. In that split second, Jasper grabs her by the shoulders, and slams her head into Lapis's gem. Jasper turns around and starts swimming to shore as the flash of light that accompanies a gem retreating rings out behind her.

Jasper finally reaches the shore, and begins heading towards to beach, dripping wet and panting. "That pathetic gem finally got what was coming to her..." She says between breaths, before she starts to chuckle. The chuckle quickly turns into laughter. "I'm finally free from her! No one will keep Jasper down again!" She falls down to the sand for a moment, feeling the grains sticking to her skin, before hearing someone else approaching from the water.

"You're smart, Jasper. Anyone else, and you would've won, but I'm much, much older than you. Now, get up, and let's finish this. I hate fighting, but you won't stop until you destroy my friend." Lapis says, slowly emerging from the ocean. She approaches the shore, but stops when the water laps at her ankles, keeping her head lowered and her hair over her eyes the entire way. "You know, if the circumstances were different... Without home world, and without all your hate... We might've been friends. You have the ability to care, and care deeply, and that's an amazing thing that most gems have lost on home world, but you've wasted all that on war and hate. Now, let's settle this." Water rises from around Lapis's feet and begins to form a trident, before she charges at Jasper. Jasper, now recovering from the shock of seeing Lapis still alive, stands up and charges towards her.

The first sound heard is the clashing of Lapis's trident and Jasper's helmet. Jasper reels slightly, due to being surprised by how solid Lapis's weapon is. This leaves her open for Lapis to lunge in, and graze Jasper side as she narrowly dodges.

~I wasn't open nearly long enough for an attack like that! Unless... Yes, her weapons are weightless! That's the only way for her to attack that quickly.~

This time, Jasper initiates the charge, knowing the speed and range of Lapis. However, at the last second, before the weapons connect, the trident quickly morphs into a sword and shield. Lapis spins with Jasper's charge and makes a large slash across her back, causing her to groan in pain.

"Give it up Jasper! I was training with all of home world's weapons before you were planted in the dirt!" Lapis yells, the cocky voice sounding strange even to herself, but she knew it was the best way to get Jasper angry, and an angry fighter was a sloppy fighter.

~My crasher helmet is no good against her! What I won't give to have my axe back right now... I need to calm myself, these charges aren't working, so lets see how she deals with some more intense combat.~

Jasper again begins running, but this time, she stays light on her feet. When she gets the Lapis, her helmet comes down instead of straight forward. The shield blocks the hit, and Lapis starts to stab at her before Jasper reaches out for her hand. Lapis quickly pulls back and bring her shield down on Jasper's wrist, letting out a cracking sound. Jasper yells out and swings straight out, and is met with the sound of fist meeting skin.

Where as Lapis's attacks had been annoyances to Jasper, one punch had her reeling. She looks around and sees that she's now on her back, with Jasper approaching rapidly. Lapis stands up groggily before saying below her breath, "I guess I'll just have to play her game."

The sword and shield morph again, this time into a pair of large bladed claws. Jasper, eager for the end of this fight, runs up to her again. A slash up from Lapis is pushed to the side by Jasper and she quickly counters with a punch to the jaw. Lapis doesn't let herself go down, and slashes across before Jasper realizes that she didn't go down. The claws cut from shoulder to hip. Jasper falls down to her knees from the attack, and looks up at Lapis.

"Heh, I don't know about the whole 'friend' thing, but you'd of made for one hell of a rival." Jasper manages to say before her body poofs and her gem hits the sand. Lapis lets out a breath before sitting down in the sand.

"Now what do I do?" She says, exhausted. She could always crush her... No, Lapis couldn't do that, she doesn't have the heart for that. "I guess I'll just hand her over to Steven... And I might have an apology or two to make..."

 **Author's** **Note:** So, Nightmare Hospital was amazing. The main reason you're not reading any of the cluster in this chapter is because I'm mulling over how to deal with this new info.

To hurdygurd: again, thank you. Oh, don't worry, there will be plenty

To lightningflash51: Indeed, the next few chapters will have an increased pace. Or not, depends on my mood.

To TheLadyShadows: knowing I gave someone the chills makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Kinda ironic. Also, people with alot of pride tend to misplace blame. Finally, writing for Garnet has been... interesting for me. Mostly because she's one of my least favorite gems. Don't get me wrong, I love the concept of Ruby and Sapphire, but Garnet comes off as bland to me. Don't take that as me saying she's getting the ax though.


	5. Chapter 5

What it Means to Be

Chapter 5

It's Okay

Disclaimer: Don't own Steven Universe.

~ around text means thoughts

One lengthy explanation later, Pearl and Amethyst are sitting in the living room, shocked. Amethyst was the first to gather her thoughts. She slowly begins to talk.

"So... What you're saying is that there's a chance that those forced fusions have a chance to recover and become kinda sorta gems again?" Garnet furrows her brow and looks down slightly.

"Well... Not all of them. Peridot got... Lucky. The four gems that make up that cluster were best friends before they were fused. You heard Steven and Connie's description of those other forced fusions. They were like that because each individual shard was fighting for control. The first cluster, as you saw, worked together in a way. They formed one hand, which required them working together. They can be one person, one gem, if we get Peridot..." The room stays silent after Garnet finishes speaking. Again, Amethyst is the one to break the silence.

"Could we... Could we see the cluster? It's not that I don't believe you... Its just... After that future vision stunt..." Amethyst trails off. Garnet shows no reaction to the comment and turns around to opens the doors to the Burning Room. After a few seconds in the room, she returns. Hovering above her hand, is the bubble cluster. Where before, the four shards stuck in opposite directions, the pieces have slowly begun moving together, and from the center, the start of a solid white gem juts out, but for all it's beauty, the sight of it still makes the gems cringe.

"It's... Changing." Pearl says, holding her arms in front of her in a defensive position, as if the cluster's condition was contagious. "Does this mean... Its becoming more like a true fusion?"

In a rare show of emotion, Garnet snaps at Pearl. "NO! This is nothing like a true fusion! This is an insult to what fusion means... But it means that these gems will have life again, so I'll tolerate it. For now, though, we should find a better way of tracking Peridot. First off, I recommend we..."

"Hey guys! Connie's here! Sword lesson fighting fun time!" Steven immediately busts into the room, with Connie in tow. His smile quickly fades as he sees whats in Garnet's hand. "Garnet... Why do you have the cluster? Whats going on?"

"This is where you live?" Said Peridot, looking up at the blue house. She looks over at Sour Cream, and he rubs the back of his neck.

"Yeah. Home sweet home. Heh." He looks over to Peridot, who is still staring at the house, before sighing lightly. "I know it's not much... But Jenny's place is too crowded and Buck's dad never leaves him alone, so its the best option."

"Well... It's certainly... Blue." Peridot says, before following Sour Cream in. "Who else lives here, anyway?" Sour Cream takes out a key and unlocks the door before he looks back at Peridot.

"Just, me, my mom, and my brother. My dad is always out on his boat. Don't tell the others, but I do wish I could spend more time with him." Sour Cream opens the door and slowly walks into his house after giving Peridot a quiet 'Shh'. Peridot follows him up the stairs and into his room. After he shuts the door, he flicks on a light and sits down.

"It's alright to talk now. I had this room pretty much sound proofed. My family didn't appreciate my music as much as my friends." He says, as Peridot awkwardly sits down on the ground. "So, I wanna hear your story." Sour Cream says, before opening up his laptop. Peridot recoils slightly.

"What do you mean 'my story'?" She replied, unsure if this was a friendly question or an interrogation.

"Your story. You said something about 'home world' in the car, tell me about that place." His laptop is booting up as he speaks.

"Well, home world is where us gems come from... It had a name once, but the only ones who remember what it was are the Diamonds, and they don't care enough to say it. There... You have to work, every single day. You're only options are to either get too old to be useful, die, or be good enough to get promoted. I was the last one. When I was told that I was going to be a Field Researcher, I was ecstatic. Most planets take months, even years to get to. Those were months that I had to myself, more than even the Diamonds can say. I suppose I had my time though. I was the Chief Field Researcher for 5000 years, and in that time, I got so much done! I don't mean to brag, but Gem Destabilizer technology was my invention!" As this point, Peridot is talking more to herself, as Sour Cream had no clue what half of what she was saying meant, but he was sure that this was healthy for her.

"That got the attention of Yellow Diamond herself! Oh, you should of seen how jealous all the other researchers were. Especially that weaselly Citrine! I'm just glad that the Gem wars were over and done with before I even got there. If not, I would've been thrown into the Coliseum of Repentance" Peridot pauses here, as if the name of the place itself was cursed. "Even though Jasper was forbidden to say what went on in there, everyone knew that something happened... Something awful... Sometimes I miss her... Not the lunk that came here with me... The Jasper that went into the Coliseum... And never came out..."

"I wonder how much longer I have to walk..." Said Lapis, half to herself, half to Jasper's gem. She wasn't sure how well she heard her, but she hoped that it was making her mad. "You know, you wouldn't be in this situation if you hadn't of hurt my beach summer fun buddy's face." Lapis says. She had been following the shoreline for some time. Thankfully, she had managed to keep her bearing even after all that time as Malachite.

"You know, I could just fly there... But, I think I need some time to think... Jasper has had it pretty tough, and even though I can't forgive her, I don't think she deserves to get crushed..." She trails off, still talking to no one. She continues walking along the shore. As she strolls along the beach, she gazes up to the stars, thoughts going back to home world.

"I can't go back there. This is my home now... Not even Jasper or Peridot could go back after this failure of a mission. They'd be ground to dust. I could see Peridot coming around, and maybe even joining Steven and them... But Jasper? She's far too proud for that." She looks back at the ground and sighs, before bringing Jasper gem up to her face.

"I guess that's what make you you, though. You've fought for your entire life. Do you even know what you'd do if you stopped?" She pauses for a moment, as if the gem would respond, then sighs again. "And here I am, talking to a retreated gem. Heh." She lets her arm hang by her side again as she continues walking.

"At least she let on one piece of information I needed... The crystal gems weren't the ones who imprisoned me... When you're fused that long, you kinda get into each other's heads. I wonder what she got from me?" Lapis says. As she continues walking, the sun slowly starts to rise over the horizon, casting a large silhouette of Beach City.

~Where... Where am I? Have I, retreated? Let's see... Whats the last thing I remember... Ah, yes! The Gem War! Accounting for how tired I am, I must've been out for quite some time. I wonder what's happened since then. I do hope that Rose Quartz is doing fine. Now, let's get to regenerating. HNNNNG! Well, that's odd. I'm still stuck. Someone must've forgotten something on top of me. Well, no matter. Just more time to collect my thoughts. What other friends of mine made it out of the war, I wonder. There was Garnet and Emerald, the dynamic duo. I didn't ever get to finish my song about them in battle. There was that Pearl that was always tailing Rose Quartz. She would've been a marvelous person to get involved with, if it weren't for her always obsessing over the general. Maybe she's gotten over her like obsession. Wait a second, Rose Quartz could contact people through dreams! Let's see if I can contact her back... Zircon will return!~

 **Author's Note** Sorry about the absence guys. My little brother's birthday was this week and that took up some time. In other news. I now have over 800 views, which makes me a very happy camper.

To that one random guest: Thank you.

To Knights and dragons: This is gonna sound embarrassing, lol. I kinda... Forgot that she existed. I tried to remedy that this chapter, but she didn't quite fit. Either way, I have plans for her in the future.

To hurdygurd: I enjoy writing Peridot's parts the best. Lol. And, as always, thank you for the compliments

To TheLadyShadows: Hey, it's easy to forget stuff like that when you're about to murderize someone. Ruby and Sapphire are two of my favorites, don't get me wrong. Garnet has a great concept, and I love that about her, but she herself comes off as a little bland.

To FanficLovingPerson: No what? 


	6. Chapter 6

What it Means to Be

Chapter 6

I'm Here

Disclaimer: I don't own Steven Universe

"St... Steven... You're home early." Says Pearl, with a nervous look on her face. The other gems stay quiet, simply looking on.

"Connie got let out of school early today, so she got here earlier. That still doesn't explain why you have the cluster out! ...and why it looks so weird..." Steven replies. Pearl starts to stutter out a respond before Garnet cuts her off.

"The cluster is doing some strange things. We might be able to heal it, but only if we act fast." Garnet says, as Steven stares wide-eyed at the bubbled cluster.

"Wooooah... Thats so cool! Can I see?" Steven replies, as he runs up to Garnet.

"NO! There is nothing 'cool' about the Cluster!" Garnet yells, before realizing what she was doing. She sees Steven's hurt look and Connie's look of surprise and immediately regrets what she did. "I'm... I'm sorry Steven. I didn't mean to yell at you, but this... Thing... Is an abomination. It would stay bubbled if we didn't need every available gem right now. I just don't want you getting to excited about it... We don't know if it'll even be a gem when we heal it." Steven slowly nods his head in agreement before Pearl breaks the silence.

"Well! Since Connie is here, why don't we start your lesson for the day!" Pearl says, still nervous about the situation. Connie realizes she's trying to getting Steven's mind off the cluster, and promptly follows along.

"Yes Ma'am! Steven, my liege, shall we commence with our lesson?" Connie says, in a slightly mock tone. Steven turns to her and regains his usual smile.

"Woohoo! Sword fighting! Let's go!" Steven says, before grabbing Connie's wrist and leaping onto the warp pad. Pearl steps on with them and the light that accompanies a warp shines throughout the room, before promptly disappearing, leaving Amethyst and Garnet in the room.

"So, now that Steven's gone, what do you think that Cluster's gonna turn into?" Amethyst says, as she heads towards the kitchen to prepare a sandwich. Garnet begins walking towards the temple door before responding. She stops right before the door and shifts her glasses with her middle finger. Amethyst looks on expectantly, even stopping the construction of her lunch.

"I have no idea." Garnet says, before opening to door to the temple and walking in.

Several hours later, the warp pad flashes again, depositing Steven, Connie, and Pearl. Steven yawns slightly, which Connie soon mimics. Pearl looks at the two of them before smiling.

"You both did great today, now get some rest. Connie, your parents will be here shortly. You should start heading that way, as to not make them wait." Says Pearl. Connie nods her head sleepily, before opening the front door and waving goodbye. Pearl sees Steven starting to dose on the couch, before he gets up and walks up to his bed. Pearl watches him for a few seconds before catching herself.

~I promised I would stop this~ she thinks to herself, before walking up to the temple door and entering her room. However, as soon as Steven falls asleep he finds himself experiencing a very familiar feeling.

He slowly opens his eyes to see himself sitting in a over-sized armchair, looking over a small sitting room with a fireplace. Its finely furnished, with a small coffee table with a cloth, and a mantle over the fireplace. What really catches Steven is the second armchair, which is current occupied by a gem he's never seen before.

"Oh... I'm dreadfully sorry. See, I was trying to contact Rose Quartz and I... Wait a moment... How did I contact you?" Steven simply stares at the gems in front of him. Her skin was a dark blue, and she looked like she'd stand a little taller than Pearl, but not as tall as Garnet. Her gem, which was a slightly darker blue than her skin, rested in the middle of her collarbone, where a gem might lay if it was on a necklace. Her hair was poofed up and slightly slicked back, and the color was gradiented, from the shade of her gem at the roots, to nearly white at the tips. Steven thought her clothes were the strangest part about her, she wore what appeared to be a bath robe. The gem noticed Steven's blank expression and chuckled. "Pardon me, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Zircon. I fought for Rose Quartz and was lost during one of the last battles of the gem war. It appears I have recovered. So, tell me. Why did I reach you when I looked for Rose Quartz?"

Steven finally snaps out of his daze at the mentions of his mother's name. "Oh! That's because she's my mom! Kind of... She gave up her physical form to make me. Now it's my turn to ask a question, how did you manage to get into my dream?" Zircon let out a small chuckle before continuing.

"I should've known Rose would do something rash like that. As for your question, I was one of Rose's lieutenants. She taught me how to communicate with people over long distances to manage battlefields. Looks like its saved my life again. I guess I have to ask another question, so here it goes. Do you know where the Sea Spire is? It's where my gem was laid to rest when they thought I was dead."

"Uhh... About that..."

Peridot had been droning on about her achievements and inventions in her lifetime for about an hour before Sour Cream finally took off his headphones. He stretched his arms above his head and lets out a big yawn before turning to Peridot, who was still talking.

"Hey, I'm gonna go to sleep... And you're kinda sitting on my bed." Sour Cream says as he stands up. Peridot stops her speech and stands up, slowly eyeing the room.

"So, what am I to do until you're finished your sleeping rituals? Gems don't sleep, and human nights are boring." Peridot crosses her arms while tapping her foot. Sour Cream just chuckles.

"Night time can be really fun, you just have to know where to go. As for right now, you can play on my laptop. I have a music making software and everything. It'll take a while to figure out, just don't save over any of my songs and you'll be fine." Sour Cream says as he lays down on his bed. Peridot eyes the laptop warily.

~Its just earth tech, it couldn't be that hard to figure out.~ She approaches the laptop and sits down as Sour Cream turns off his lamp, sending the room into darkness, except for the light of the screen. Peridot slowly puts the headphones on her head, as she saw Sour Cream do, and put her floating fingers to the keys.

~So... This key makes this sound... And that one makes... So what if I...~ Peridot quickly starts clicking and dragging, not entirely sure she knows what she's doing, but it was entertaining none the less. So much so, that she didn't even notice the ten hours of Sour Cream sleeping slip away.

Sour Cream wakes up to the sound of typing and lots of mouse clicking. At first, he tries to ignore it, but after about thirty minutes, he had had enough. "Are you still up?" He says groggily, rubbing his head. Peridot doesn't respond, completely focused on the screen. "What the heck? Have you been working on this all night?" Sour Cream says as he walks up to Peridot, finally close enough to see the screen. Peridot finally notices that Sour Cream is awake and jump when he gets close.

"Y... Yeah. Everything just sounded so cool, but there wasn't enough space to fit everything into, so I had to make two songs! But then that wasn't enough and... Now there's about nine songs on your laptop... I didn't mess anything up, did I?" Sour Cream just chuckles.

"Nah, I got plenty of room on this bad boy. As long as I can listen to some of it. I might even be able to give you some tips."  
"L... Listen to it? But... But I haven't even had time to go back and perfect everything! I still have so much to do!" Peridot starts to get flustered, thinking about how incomplete the songs were. Heck, humans might not even like the same kind of sound patterns that gems find soothing. Again, Sour Cream just laughs.

"It doesn't have to be perfect, man. That's whats so great about music, it's not about order or structure or rules or anything like that. It's all about what you make the audience feel. Now, let me check this stuff out." Sour Cream reaches down for the headphones and slips them on. As he plays the first song, his jaw starts to drop.

~This... This is amazing! The beats are perfect, the drops are just rights, and she even added in polyrhythms! I didn't even know that program could do polyrhythms!~

As he goes through the songs, every single one of them is pure quality. Peridot, however, sits nervously, waiting for him to pass his judgment.

"Where did you learn to mix like that? This is some of the best music I've ever heard! And I've heard alot!" Sour Cream starts getting excited, which in turn causes Peridot to blush.

"I just picked the sounds that were best. Figuring out the program itself was easy, but with the music, I wasn't so much figuring it out as it was just feeling them. The sounds just kinda... Fell into place. Like that's how they were always supposed to be." Sour Cream just stares, jaw hanging down, before finally regaining his thoughts.

"I was having a rave tonight with a few of my friends. The last one was a smash hit after that stranger showed up, and now even more people are coming. You could play some of your songs at the end. That'd really get the party going." Peridot thinks over for a moment, before nodding her head.

"Alright! I'll do it! Just... Let me work on my song for a little longer..."

"Well... This is the place" Lapis says, standing at the start of the steps leading up to Steven's house. Jasper's gem was still clutched firmly in Lapis's hand. As she walks up the steps, she begins to think over her apology again. After all, she did steal the ocean, which was apparently a big deal. She sighs as she makes it up to the door. ~This is it, let's hope they don't go up in arms.~ She gives three short knocks on the door, hoping someone is up. As it turns out, someone was, but it wasn't who she was hoping for.

"So, Lapis, how was the bottom of the ocean" Says Amethyst, as she opens the door. At the mentioning of Lapis, the temple doors open up to reveal Pearl and Garnet, who stop in their tracks.

"The ocean was great, I got really into my element. I even brought a souvenir" Lapis says, as she tosses Jasper to Garnet. Pearl looks at and gasps, before turning to look at Lapis.

"But, how did you do that? Jasper managed to survive an impact from orbit and you beat her? How?" Lapis just smirks slightly.

"She tried attacking me in the middle of the ocean. Between the fact that I was a warrior before I was stuck in that mirror, and I could control the water on Jasper to slow her down, I eventually got her." Lapis says, smiling a bit. The gem continue to stare at her, before Garnet speaks up.

"That's great and all, but what are your intention here? We have enough problems as it is." Garnet says matter-of-factly. Lapis hangs her head before gathering her thought. She takes a deep breath in and starts to speak.

"I want to join you guys. While I might've had some problems with you before, you didn't know that I was still alive in that mirror. You probably thought I was inert, and even if that wasn't the case, at least let me think so. Giving you Jasper was a sign of good faith, so what do you think?" The crystal gems look at each other for a few seconds before looking back at Lapis.

"I'm not so sure, you did hurt Steven..." Pearl says, with her finger to her chin.

"I say we let her! Fighting myself was fun" Amethyst chimes in, leaving against the door frame.

"And I'm not really sure either way, so, as usual, Steven will be the deciding factor. Which is quite fortunate for you." Garnet says. The silence hangs for about three seconds before the sounds of Steven waking up can be heard. "Go say hey, he's sure to be excited." Garnet says to Lapis. She nods with a small smile and starts to head up the stairs before Steven is heard bolting up and yelling.

"Guys! I had the weirdest dream last night! It was like my dream with Lapis, except there was a fireplace, and chairs, and hot cocoa, and a gem in a bathrobe named Zircon!" Steven jumps out of bed and starts to run down the stairs, just in time to see Lapis and the rest of the gems with their jaws open. Steven's eyes open up wide and get filled with stars. "LAAAAPIS!" He says, as he charges down the stairs and runs into her. She kneels down as he lands in her arms.

"Its good to see you too Steven, but what was this talk about Zircon?" Lapis says. Steven starts to open his mouth to speak, but Pearl interrupts.

"Zircon was one of the head generals of Rose Quartz's army. She was known for leading gems who were less skilled and strong than the enemy, and beat them without losing more than a few gems! She herself was skilled, a little more talented than I am now, but that had nothing to do with it. She was a true leader!" Pearl says, with a distant look in her eyes. After a few seconds, her eyes turn towards the floor. "And then, at the last battle of the gem wars, she fell. She jumped in the way of Jasper's attack in order to save Rose. Rose got the upper hand and managed to beat Jasper because of Zircon's intervention, but at a cost. Her gem didn't have a crack on it, but, she just wouldn't come out. After a few years, we made her a shrine at the Ocean Spire, to remember her by, but she never did emerge. If you're having dreams with her, though, that means she's probably still alive! Come on guys! Lets go save a Crystal Gem!"

A lengthy boat ride, which was more than a little cramped with Steven joining in, takes them to where the Ocean Spire used to be. Pearl looks to Lapis and asks, "Could you please swim down and retrieve her for us?" Lapis simply smirks.

"I've got a better idea." She says, she steps from the boat and begins to walk on the surface of the water. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before spreading her feet. She clenches her fists on either side of her before yelling loudly and throwing her hands up. As soon as she does, everything begins to shake. A few seconds later, the water breaks in front of the gems, revealing the top of the Spire. After a minutes or so passes, the entire Spire has emerged from the ocean, still draining water after being submerged. Lapis looks back at the gems, still panting from the exertion, but with a confidant smile.

"So, shall we?"

 **Author's Note** : *SPOILER ALERT*

Little Peridot is the most adorable thing I've ever seen! Also +1 to Garnet for one of the most brutal kills I've seen in a long time.

*END SPOILER ALERT*

In other news, I reached 1000 views, which makes me really happy. That's why you guys got a really long chapter today.

Now, to address the fans

To Fixedflower80: I saw a distinct lack of cluster in most fanfics, I wanted to fix that. The cluster has been absent because there's only so much brooding one can do.

To F-ckthesystem125: I didn't think that it was all the difficult to distinguish which was which. I tried putting names early in the sections, but as a general reference, it'll usually go Crystal Gems, then Peridot, then Lapis, then either Cluster or Zircon.

To random guest, maybe the same dude as last time, no clue: Thanks, lel

To hurdygurd: first, that wasn't cluster, that was Zircon. Second, she's referring to the Coliseum of Repentance. If you forgot about it, check out Jasper's stuff in chapter two and three.


	7. Chapter 7

What it Means to Be

Chapter 7

Someone New

Disclaimer: I still don't own Steven Universe.

Garnet looks up at the tower with her ever-present neutral expression, as Amethyst and Steven look up, slack-jawed. Most surprising is Pearl's look of complete wonder, as she eyes up the tower she thought to be lost forever.

"Lapis... You... You resurfaced the Spire... How?" Pearl says, as Lapis looks up with pride.

"Simple, I pushed it up, and then put some rocks and stuff underneath. Did you forget the whole 'I've controlled the entire ocean at once' thing?" Lapis says, now looking at Pearl. Pearl then shakes off her awe and composes herself.

"No, I have not forgotten. Nor did I forget you attacking us... But I might forgive you for saving one of earth's most precious treasures. Now, let's find Zircon, I have a feeling we'll need her expertise in the days to come." says Pearl, as she starts to row the boat towards the spire. Lapis frowns at bit at Pearl's verbal attack, but doesn't press it, knowing that it wouldn't take much to get her kicked out of the crystal gems.

When they reach the entrance to the spire, everyone takes a moment to observe the beauty of it as they get out of the boat. The dust of the years had be washed away when it was submerged, and the sea entrance was much more grand than the entrance from the warp pad. As they walked up the steps, Lapis looks over at Pearl.

"Well, you're the one who knows the history of this Zircon, take us to this final rest place of her" Says Lapis, trying to earn a respond out of Pearl, but she simply smiles confidently

"Zircon's shrine should be near the top, since she was a gem of the highest prestige. Let's just follow the stairs and I'll inform you when we need to turn." Says Pearl. Lapis begins to form a respond to her snark tone of voice, but before she can, the spire begins to rumble. All eyes turn to Lapis, who stares back wide eyed.

"Did you not make sure that the tower was stable?" Yells Garnet. Lapis looks back and forth, obvious nervous.

"I did! The tower is perfectly supported... Which means that whatever caused that rumbling... Is inside the spire..." Lapis says, worry more apparent on her face. The gems all look to Garnet, as she adjusts her glasses.

"There's a corrupted gem here! Steven! When you were talking to Zircon, did she seem like she was becoming corrupt? Were there any dark cracks in her gem or body?" Garnet calls out to Steven, you vigorously shakes his head.

"No! Zircon was perfectly normal. I can't be her!" Steven shouts back. Suddenly, the roof breaks open, and in the middle of the crystal gems falls what looks to be a giant crystalline scorpion. It's segmented body is a light blue, with pink undertones, and it has a stinger made up of a jagged, blood red, crystal-like object.

The Scorpion looks around at the different gems, before attacking Garnet. It's stinger comes down on her, but she manages to block the attack with her newly summoned gauntlets. Pearl and Amethyst both summon their weapons and begin to attack the corrupted gem, as Steven runs up to Lapis. After a few minutes of ineffective attacks, Lapis assumes a fighting stance.

"Steven, I'm gonna need you to form a bubble around yourself." Lapis says, as she spreads her feet apart. Steven nods and forms his bubble as Lapis closes her eyes and starts to concentrate. After a few seconds, another rumbling is heard, which causes the Scorpion to stop it's assault. The crystal gems all look down the hallway as a massive torrent of water shoots up and slams the Scorpion into the far wall, instantly poofing it. Garnet grabs Pearl and Amethyst as she slams her feet into the ground. After the torrent does it's job, all the water starts to cascade back down the steps. Steven momentarily begins to fall before Lapis grabs the bubble and holds him in place. Steven looks at the water that's passing by his bubble and laughs as he sees a few fish struggling with the rapid current. All too soon for Steven, the water clears, as he undoes his bubble and Garnet unroots herself.

"Well, that certainly was something..." Says Pearl, as she plucks off a piece of seaweed on her shoulder. Amethyst jumps up excitedly.

"Yeah! It was awesome! You should do it again!" Amethyst shouts. Lapis shakes her head with a small smile, as Garnet walks up and bubbles the corrupt gem that had been embedded into the wall from the force of Lapis's attack.

"So, now that that's over, let see what awaits us at Zircon's shrine." Says Pearl, who keeps walking up the stairs as if nothing had happened. Lapis again starts to respond to Pearl's condescending voice, but before she can respond, Steven grabs her hand and runs up the stairs.

After several minutes, and even more complaints from Amethyst about the length of the journey, they finally arrive at a hallway that branches from the main stairway.

"Well, this is it. You should be excited, Steven. Zircon was second only to Rose Quartz herself. Rose Quartz would spend hour discussing tactics and strategy with Zircon." Pearl says, with a mix between admiration a jealousy. As they reach the shrine itself, they see that it had suffered from a small cave-in. Within minutes, Garnet has the pathway cleared, and before all of them was a blue, rectangular gem. As Steven goes forward to look at it closer, it begins to glow. The gem slowly rises into the air, and bursts into light as Zircon emerges. When the light fades, Zircon is standing before all of them, but inside of the robe Steven saw her in, She is now wearing full plate armor that is the same shade of blue as her gem.

"Well, isn't this quite the surprise. I didn't expect this kind of welcoming committee. Pearl, Rose's personal assistant. It's been years since I've seen you. I see an Amethyst, no doubt from Earth. Your line was one of my favorite to come out of Earth. A Lapis Lazuli is a rare sight though, tell me, are you of the ten thousand year old variety, or the fifteen?"

Lapis looks down at her feet, blushing slightly. "It's... Actually twenty thousand now. You've been away for quite a while." Zircon smiles wide and chuckles.

"Ah, of course. And you, is that... Yes! It is! Ruby and Sapphire! You've made leaps and bounds, haven't you? Tell me what has become of Emerald?"

At the mentioning of Emerald, Garnet and Pearl look towards the ground. Zircon immediately understand the message.

"I'm... I'm so sorry. Well, let's leave old wounds alone. Come on, let's leave this place, the Temple still stands I assume?" This time, Amethyst is the one to chime in.

"Yeah! We have all of our own rooms and everything!" At this, Zircon stops.

"Wait, everyone has their own room? There's no way the temple could support that... Unless..." Zircon looks at the assembled gems, wide-eyed. "You're the only ones left... Aren't you?" The crystal gems look at each other and nod. Zircon hangs her head in sadness. "Well... I suppose that's what happens in war." Zircon stays rooted to the spot, before Amethyst starts to tap her foot.

"Come on guys! We need to head back soon! Tonight is a wrestling night! I need to be there!"

Peridot looks around the abandoned warehouse, taking in the sights. Sour Cream was DJ'ing, and Peridot was trying to pass the time until she came on.

~Everyone looks so happy. So carefree. Maybe he was right, maybe I can escape from homeworld here.~ Peridot sighs. Sour Cream's music wasn't as exciting to her. It as nicely arranged, but it lacked something that she couldn't quite place. He had also gotten a little offended when Peridot offered to 'fix' it for him, so she dropped that subject. Although it did give her confidence. If they liked his music so much, then they'd really love her's.

The beats droned on as she watched the crowd. Some were alone, twirling glow-sticks, but other were together, a few as friends, but many as couples. It made Peridot start to think again. ~Well, now that I'm not returning to homeworld regardless, maybe I should look into finding a mate... Bah, like they're be anyone around her work my while.~ Peridot shook her head slightly, as she took turns imagining herself with each of the other gems. She didn't even consider Steven or Garnet, since one was both a child and human, and the other was a fusion. As she went down the list, she visibly gagged at the thought of Jasper. Before she could give it much more thought, Sour Cream spoke up.

"That was quite the party, right guys? Heh. It's not quite over yet though, so give it up for my friend, and budding artist, Peridot!" Sour Cream put down the mic, and Peridot stepped up to the laptop. She started to boot up everything require for her songs as the people at the rave were all quiet. She preps all the tables and gets ready to start, but right before she can begin, she hears someone call out as the door to the warehouse opens.

"Hey guys! Who's my opponent today!" Amethyst yells, as she walks in under the guise of the Purple Puma. Everyone looks at her in shock, but no one quite as shocked as Peridot. The second she and Amethyst make eye contact, Amethyst's eyes narrow. "Peridot! We've been looking for you!" Before she can continue, Peridot jumps down off the DJ's area, and starts to run towards the only exit, the one Amethyst is in front of. Not giving her a chance, Amethyst leans in an attempt to slam on Peridot. However, Peridot manages to roll out of the way. Amethyst quickly gets up and starts to approach Peridot menacingly, causing Peridot to scramble and start looking around the room.

~There's gotta be something I can use around here~ she thought. In her current condition, her beam would take way too long to charge up for Amethyst's swiftness. As she eyes the room, she sees notice the power cable across the room. ~If I could just get to them without.~ Her thought are abruptly interrupted when Amethyst hit her hard in the side. The force of the hit knocks her to the far side of the room.

Amethyst starts to slowly approach Peridot as she shifts out of the Purple Puma form. "You know, you move quick for a half broken technician with one foot." Peridot doesn't respond, which causes Amethyst to raise an eyebrow, before sighing. "Guess I just gotta take you back to the temples." She says, and she leans over to pick up Peridot. As soon as she does, though, Peridot twists around and puts an exposed electrical wire to her skin, causing her to spasm slightly, before falling to the ground. Peridot stands up and puts a foot on Amethyst's chest, before charging up her arm laser and aiming it directly at Amethyst's gem.

"You shouldn't of screwed with me, brat." Peridot says, looking down at the unconscious gem. As she says that, Amethyst starts to open her eyes, before they go wide at seeing the charged laser. Amethyst sees Peridot's lips move slightly, only barely making out what she says, then, a blinding flash of green light, and then nothing.

 **Author's Note:** Sorry about being a day or two late, I got my keys locked in my car for two days, and that's were my laptop was. This chapter was a little painful to write, not gonna lie. Lol.

And now, a word for our audience.

To F-ckthesystem125: Thank you. I try to make every chapter do something important for the story.

To FanficLovingPerson: There's gonna be four all together, kinda. I'm consider the cluster and Centipeedle (later stuff) to be OC's, and then Zircon, plus one more later, but that's gonna be quite a bit later. I know how you feel, but don't worry, OC's won't be the main focus of the story.

To guest: Yeah, I know, and that messes up alot of stuff. Again, I'm not entirely sure how I'm gonna deal with it, and I may just skip over it entirely. I'd like some feedback from the readers on whether I should address it or just call this story AU.

To hurdygurd: Aha.


	8. Chapter 8

What it Means to Be

Chapter 8

Choices Made

Disclaimer: I don't own Steven Universe.

Peridot was running. She had to put as much distance between her and that warehouse as possible. She ran and ran, and after she ran some more, she realized that she had no idea where she was running to. Peridot recognized the blue house of Sour Cream. She runs up to the front door before stopping and catch her breath. She turns the nob tentatively and is pleasantly surprised when the nob gives and opens up. Without a care for the other denizens of his house, Peridot runs up into Sour Cream's room. After shutting the door, she slides down with her back against it before wrapping her arms around her knees.

"What have I done? I'm so dead... They'll never forgive me for this... NEVER!" Peridot wails, before hearing a knocking on the door, which is closely followed by a voice.

"Hey... Can I come in?" Says Sour Cream. Peridot scoots away from the door and lets Sour Cream in. He walks to his bed and sits on it, before rubbing the back of his neck, confused about what to say. Finally, he decides that saying anything is better than her sitting there in silence.

"I'm sorry you didn't get to play your music today... I was really looking forward to hearing it. So was everyone else..." Still, Peridot doesn't respond. He sighs again, before thinking on what to say to her. "You know, it sucks that what happened had to happen, but sometimes, you just can't avoid thing forever." Peridot still keeps her head down, but mumbles something under her breath. Finally, Sour Cream realizes that his words aren't getting through to her, and gets up to leave. As he opens the door, he looks back at her and gives a small smile.

"Thanks for sparing her, though. I'd hate to see Steven sad." Sour Cream says, before closing the door behind him. Peridot remains in her original position, Sour Cream's statement doing little to console her. She remains with her head down, sorry coursing through her entire body.

"Home world will never forgive me... I'm a traitor now... I could've gotten away with the failed mission, it was only the first one in a few thousand years... But THIS? Showing mercy to the enemy? What was I thinking?!" Peridot says to herself, as she looks up and rests her head against the wall. She lets out a small sigh before looking to the ground. "I guess I wasn't thinking of home world at all... They're not here... I can be who I want to be, but who is it that I want to be? Maybe... Maybe I should go talk to the crystal gems..."

Just outside the door, Sour Cream lets out a smile.

"Garnet, have you seen Amethyst?" Pearl says, tapping her foot impatiently. Another one of her sword had gone missing and Pearl already had a suspect.

"No clue" Garnet replies, as she walks into her room. Steven looks up from a comic book and makes eye contact with Pearl.

"I thought tonight was a wrestling night for her. Maybe you should go check out the warehouse?" Steven offered. Pearl cringed slightly. She hated that warehouse. It always smelled nasty, like rancid cheese and body odor. Still, this was on her favorite sword, and she didn't want it under a pile of garbage for any longer than she had to.

"Alright, I'll check there." Pearl says, as she begins to walk out of the house. As she does, she passes Lapis as she walks in. Lapis smiles and waves at Pearl, only to get ignored in return. Pearl walks down the stairs and onto the beach, starting the long trek across town and all the way up to the warehouse. With a few minutes to think, she starts to let her mind wander back to their current mission. Peridot. Peridot was too smart to use the warp pads again, and there was no real way of tracking her down with what little of her they knew about. Pearl hated to admit it, but all they really had at this point was... Well, nothing really.

Before she could put much more thought into it, she had arrived at the warehouse, but something seemed off. There were no lights, or sounds of cheering. This place was always busy on Fridays... She narrows her eyes before summoning her spear. She carefully approaches the warehouse and slides open a door before gasping. There on the ground, was Amethyst's gem.

Pearl gasps before running up to Amethyst's gem. She sets her spear to the side before delicately picking up the gem. After a thorough inspection, Pearl breathes a sigh of relief. No cracks or scratches, not even a nick. As she looks around the warehouse and see the scorched cuts in the wall, she understands exactly who did this.

"Peridot..." she says, under he breath. She stands up straight and begins to leave the warehouse, Amethyst's gem begins to glow brightly. Pearl holds her hand up as the gem rises up. In a blinding flash of slight, Amethyst appears with her head turned down. She looks up at Pearl and surprise crosses her face. "So, what happened here, Amethyst?" Pearl says before Amethyst's gaze turns to the floor.

"Well, I thought it was a fight night, and it turns out I was wrong. One of Steven's friends was playing music, but it wasn't just him! Peridot was here! I tried to get her to come back to the house, but she attacked me... The last thing I remembered was her standing over me with her laser thingy charged up and aimed at my gem... But she spared me. She could've ended me right there... And she didn't..." Amethyst shakes her head, trying to think. "She said something right before she blasted me... She said... 'Is this who I want to be?'".

 **Author's Note:** Guys, I'm so sorry about the wait. Between college kicking my butt, having lots of immediate friend stuff, and a massive storm that lasted for like 3 days, this got delayed quite a bit. There was also some writer's block involved, but anyway, now for a word for the viewers.

To Guest: thank you, lol. I've heard that quite a few times and it still lifts my spirits every time. I also kinda assume every gem is feminine, so there's that.

To FanficLovingPerson: You're welcome, lol. This entire story stems from me thinking to myself "I could write better than this, so why don't I?". And don't worry, Amethyst wasn't going to get axed, lol.

To F-ckthesystem125: It was all a clever ruse.


	9. Chapter 9

What it Means to Be

Chapter 9

Choices

Disclaimer: Still don't own Steven Universe

"We need to search for Peridot!" said Pearl. She had been pacing the room for a while now, obviously nervous over that thought that Peridot was in Beach City at that very moment. She couldn't stop thinking about Steven's safety. Steven, however, was sitting on the couch next to Zircon and Amethyst without a care in the world.

"Agreed. Let's split up, and search throughout the city." Said Garnet, in a commanding voice. Zircon was sitting on the couch, observing the situation. Slightly confused.

"Who is this Peridot, and why should we be worried about her?" Zircon asked, looking to the rest of the Crystal Gems.

"She's a homeworld gem that was sent here to monitor one of their horrible experiments. Now she's on the loose doing... Who knows what?" Pearl responded. Zircon nodded her head and stood up with a smirk.

"Sounds like this calls for the tactical genius of General Zircon herself! Now, before we begin, we should..." Zircon was cut off when everyone heard the door open.

"I'm flattered that you'd consider me worth of one of Zircon great hunts, but that won't be necessary." Said Peridot, as she walked into the house. Immediately, all six of the Crystal Gems summoned their weapons, with Garnet at the front. "I wouldn't be so hasty, Crystal Clods." Peridot says, as she summons her finger laptop. "If you make me retreat into my gem, my equipment will send a signal back to homeworld, telling them that the cluster experiment is ready. Once they receive that signal, then they'll send the entire technology armada to earth, and none of you want that."

"If you had that capability, then why haven't you used it already?" Said Zircon, who was still standing calmly. Peridot turned to her with furrowed eyebrows.

"Because they're not ready! If I sent that signal and the entire tech division gets here with no results, then Yellow Diamond would do things to me far worse than anything you clods could. However, if you capture me, then I'm already a goner, so I might as well take you down with me." Peridot stops her rants, and takes a deep breath.

"But... Earth has it's appeal. Rose Quartz and you Crystal Gems obviously saw something in this planet... And I want to try and see it too. I'm tired of being a slave to homeworld, and I'm tired of their rules... If I send a message back saying that the cluster experiment has failed, and then later send back a destruction signal... Homeworld would never come back here again." Peridot stood there silently, waiting for a response. Garnet was the first to step forward.

"Rose Quartz's love for this planet was a mindset, not just a quick demonstration. I'm not sure it could be..."

"Steven has an idea!" Steven yelled, cutting of Garnet. Peridot reels back slightly at his sudden outburst. Everyone present turned to look at Steven, who had stars in his eyes. "Let's show her why Earth is so awesome! Each of us should show Peridot what its like to have a good time on earth!" Steven said. Steven threw up his arms in excitement, but quickly stopped, as everyone else in the room simply stared at him.

"What? If everyone shows Peridot why they love earth, maybe she'll love it too!" Pearl continued to give a look of apprehension before speaking.

"I don't know Steven, are you sure that's..."

"I think it's a great idea." Said Zircon, as she walked over to Peridot. Peridot flinched slightly at the closeness, she had heard of Zircon's combat prowess. "Who else agrees?" She said, looking to the rest of the crystal gems.

"If Steven thinks it's a good idea, I'll help." Said Garnet. She had unsummoned her weapons and was now leaning against a wall.

"I'd be willing to give it a shot." Said Lapis.

"Sure... I'm up" Said Amethyst. Pearl looked around at everyone before sighing.

"I guess I'll help, if it means keeping Steven safe." Said Pearl. Peridot looked between the Crystal Gems, who all had their eyes locked on her. After a few seconds, Peridot spoke up.

"So, who will be going first in this little tour of your's?" She said. The Crystal Gems looked at each other, before Amethyst spoke up.

"I'll go first. Come on Peridot, we're gonna have an awesome time!" Amethyst said, gesturing for Peridot to come to her. Peridot follows, slightly nervous. Amethyst turns towards the temple door and opens it to her room. Peridot stops momentarily on the warp pad and looks to her feet. She takes a deep breath and continues walking forward into Amethyst's room. The door shuts behind Peridot and Amethyst stops walking and turns to her.

"Hey, this isn't really the start of the tour... I just wanted to talk to you, alone." Amethyst said as she scratched the back of her head. Peridot narrowed her eyes at Amethyst.

"What's this about? You're not gonna try and fight me again, are you?" Peridot said, as she started to form her arm laser. Amethyst quickly shakes her head.

"Nothing like that, I just... Wanted to thank you for sparing me, and... I kinda want to know why you did it." Amethyst said, looking to the ground. Peridot froze, then let her cannon deform.

"It just didn't seem right. I've seen gems crushed before... But I've never done it myself. I'm just a researcher, not a killer. I may have attacked you guys before, but it's one thing to press a button, it's different when you're the one doing it. Also, I'm... Sorry... For attacking you..." Amethyst looked up at Peridot and gave one of her smirks.

"It's alright, I did kinda start it. Anyway, let's get on with this tour!" Amethyst said as she started to walk deeper into her room. Peridot followed behind her, feeling like a weight had been lifted from her.

 **Author's Note:** And so we begin the redemption of Peridot. I already know I'm going to enjoy writing this part. I also don't want another space like last time, so don't assume that that was the norm. Now for reviews, which have dropped over the last few chapters.

To F-ckthesystem125: Thank you, I was actually really nervous about the quality of it.


	10. Chapter 10

What it Means to Be

Chapter 10

Confidence

Disclaimer: I don't own Steven Universe.

"So... Uh... What does this room have to do with the tour?" Peridot said, treading carefully. Amethyst's room was packed with a large assortment of items, and she had no idea what was important or not. Amethyst just laughed while jumping from pile to pile.

"This isn't the tour silly! I'm just grabbing some stuff really fast." Amethyst said, quickly fading from Peridot's view. Peridot stood there momentarily, before Amethyst came back into view. "Alright Peridot, I got what I needed, let's head out!" Amethyst said, before running back towards the exit. Peridot managed to retrace her steps fast enough to keep up with Amethyst, but only barely.

"So, Amethyst, what did you come in here for?" Said Peridot, still worried about stepping on something. Amethyst turned around and smiled.

"I'll show you later, nosy. Now hurry up!" She called out, as she made it to the door. Peridot had finally managed to catch up, but Amethyst couldn't pass up the opportunity to mess with Peridot. As Amethyst opened the door, she saw that everyone had left the living room. Peridot followed shortly behind.

"Well, now where are we going to go?" Said Peridot, slightly exhausted. It was only the first Gem's turn and the idea of these 'tours' already seemed incredibly exhausting.

"I'm gonna show you what a sunset looks like here. You probably didn't get a chance to see it while we were chasing you and stuff." Said Amethyst. She walked through the living room and started heading down the stairs with Peridot following shortly behind.

"No, I didn't get the chance to enjoy much of anything while I was on the run. I don't understand while this planet seems to expel liquid from the skies so often." Amethyst simply laughed at Peridot's explanation of rain. The rest of the trip passed in relative silence, until they arrived at the top of the hill. Amethyst sat down, then gestured for Peridot to do the same. The sun was still in the sky, but dusk was approaching. Before long, Amethyst spoke up.

"I know this is supposed to be for you Peridot, but I have to ask something." Amethyst said turning to Peridot.

"And what would that be?" Said Peridot, always eager to show off her knowledge.

"What's Homeworld like?" Amethyst asked. Peridot froze slightly, thinking careful about how to answer her question.

"Homeworld is... Different. It's hard to explain, really. Everything is so efficient and well organized. Yet, it's slightly off somehow... Now that I think about it. It was... Cold, for lack of a better word. I didn't spend much time on Homeworld, however. I was a researcher, and I was always going from planet to planet, sometimes going centuries, even millennia without seeing Homeworld, and honestly, I didn't miss it." Peridot said, she noticed that Amethyst looked relieved.

"That's... Good to hear. I always felt like it was somewhere I had to go. Pearl always made it seem so amazing... I guess that's the best though. Here, I'm a guardian. Steven and the other humans look up to us. On Homeworld, all they would see is that I'm... Defective..."

Peridot looked at Amethyst, slightly taken aback, before she started to chuckle. Amethyst looked at her angrily as Peridot chuckle turned into a full on laugh.

"What's so funny about what I said?" Amethyst said as she stood up, ready to fight.

"You're... You're not defective... What ever made you think that?" Peridot said, still slightly laughing. Amethyst froze.

"What do you mean... Not defective? I'm too small, and other stuff." Amethyst said.

"Yeah, sure. In that form. When you fought me for the first time, that's exactly what a Amethyst is supposed to look like, and you figured it out without anyone telling you how to do it. I just assumed that you preferred this form because it fits through the doorway." Peridot said. Amethyst's eyes drift off towards the sea, just as the sun began to turn to an orange color. Peridot's eyes lit up at the sight of it. Home world had nothing like this, not even close. The way the light hit the sea was amazing, and for a moment, she wasn't thinking of home world, or of what might happen to her. Right now, she was thinking about Earth.

"I'm... Not defective?" Amethyst trailed off, lost in her own, very different thoughts.

When Jasper opened her eyes, blue skies greeted her. A sky foreign to home world, the sky of earth. She lay on her back and felt the green grass on either side of her and the dirt beneath her. "This... This is my gemscape. Right?" Jasper said to herself, almost unsure. She hadn't been here since the day she was made, but she felt like she had been asleep for a very long time. With all the effort she could muster, she pushed herself up to a sitting position. Green grass and blue skies were all she could see in any direction.

"So... You're finally up." Said a voice from behind Jasper, and she whipped her head around, only to be greeted by herself, sitting on a small boulder. A wicked grin adorned her face, filled with more malice that Jasper had ever seen.

"Who... Who are you?" Jasper said, finally pushing herself into a standing position. The other Jasper let out a cackle that send a chill down her spine.

"I'm a part of you. A part that you made." Other Jasper said, looking down slightly. Jasper let a confused look cross her face before responding.

"Why would I ever make something awful like you? I'm a proud gem, and I don't need anyone else in my head!" Jasper yelled, which was only met with roaring laughter from Other Jasper.

"Oh, you needed me. You needed me to cope with the horrible, disgusting things you did. To your enemies. To your comrades. To even your best friends you sick bastard. Ever since the start of the war, you've slept here, because you can't accept how twisted and awful what you did to your enemies was, and for all of that time, you've let me be in the drivers seat. I was what home world wanted in a perfect little soldier. Someone who didn't care about what they did in the coliseum, someone who even enjoyed it. They couldn't have enough of me, and that's what kept us alive." By now, Other Jasper was on her feet, with a look of murder in her eyes. Jasper stood, mouth agape and arms by her side.

"Did... Did I really do those things?" Jasper said, and as she began to think back, everything came rushing back. The war, the coliseum, everything she had done, all coming back at once.

"To be fair, that last thing that you did that was actually you was when attacked that poor human settlement. You remember that, don't you? They called you the Butcher of Man for centuries after that. You can't even claim that you were just following orders either, that attack was YOUR idea." Other Jasper kept pressing her speech, never giving Jasper time to think. By now, Jasper was on her knees, crying.

"I only did what I thought would win the war!" Jasper yelled out, only to have Other Jasper laugh at her again.

"Yes... Exactly, but you couldn't live with yourself after that. You remembered most battles as big blur. You just chalked it up as adrenaline, but that was me, doing your dirty work. Then the coliseum happened, and you snapped. I became the dominate personality after that, and you were locked away, like I was for so long." Other Jasper was staring at Jasper, who was finally starting to stand up again.

"While that may be true... Now I know what I did. I can deal with it on my own, and that means that I don't need you!" Jasper yelled out, to with Other Jasper responded with a smirk, before she began to fade away.

"We'll see about that, soon enough. I'm tired of this miserable planet anyway, you can deal with it." Other Jasper managed to say, before fading into nothing. As soon as she vanished, Jasper's gemscape started to vanish into blinding light.

Jasper's gem, hovering in a bubble, began to move slightly. Barely at first, but eventually shook hard enough that the sharp edge burst the bubble. As her gem began to fall, it started to glow before it hit the ground. From her gem, she emerged almost exactly the same, except her normal wild hair was perfectly straight. Grogginess shook her body as she regenerated, but she soon stood up and gained her bearings.

As she looked around at the burning room, she shuddered at all of the gems suspended in bubbles around her.

"Where am I? What kind of sick prison is this?" Jasper said, before spotting a door that appeared to lead out. She cautiously walked over to it, before the door opened by itself.

Right into the living room where the other seven gems were.

"Umm, Hello there?"

 **Author's Note:** Well, that one took a while. Between Thanksgiving and Finals, I just didn't have any time, lol. I'm having to take alot of liberties with Jasper because as she is, she would just die fighting. Now for the fans.

To Knights and Dragons: Thanks for the reassurance. Lol

To Dark Holt: Thanks, lol. I try to avoid it, but I don't like writing if I'm just not feeling it.

To Guest: Of course, lol. She's my favorite.


	11. Chapter 11

What it Means to Be

Chapter 11

Better

Disclaimer: Don't own Steven Universe. That falls to Su/c/rose.

Before Jasper could let out another word, five weapons were drawn and pointed at her. Steven was stunned at the sight at seeing Jasper, and Zircon had no idea who this gem was. The first to realize that something was amiss was Peridot. Jasper's signature wild hair was always something she took pride in. Besides, hair was one of the things that was usually constant between forms in gems. In fact, she hadn't seen her have straight hair since...

"Stop! Don't hurt her!" Peridot yelled, just as the rest of the gem began to charge, but the only one that acknowledges her is Zircon, who's head whips to Peridot's. Before the rest of the gem's reach Jasper, Zircon yells out.

"Stop!", this time the gems stop, looking to Zircon who rose from her seat and slowly approached Jasper. "I know you. You're the one who made me retreat into my gem for 5000 years... But you don't have any of the murder in your eyes that you did that day. Tell me what happened, and I WILL know if you're lying." Zircon said, which made Jasper flinch slightly, something all of the gems knew to be something Jasper wouldn't never do.

"The last thing I remember was the Rebellion... And now I'm here. It seems we have similar stories, General Zircon." Jasper said, looking uneasily between the rest of the gems, each one scowling back, except for Steven of course. Zircon looks hard for several seconds, before sighing and turning away.

"She's no lying. At least not as far as I can tell, but something tells me that this contradicts your experiences." Zircon said, before Garnet spoke up.

"It does. Jasper kidnapped all of us, and even hurt Steven. How can she have remember that?" Garnet said. Pearl looked up, as if a thought had just stricken her.

"I've heard of things like this. Gems can sometimes develop another 'being' within them, to cope with large amounts of stress. One of our allies developed it, if I remember correctly." Pearl said, still looking nervously at Jasper. Multiple personalities aside, Jasper was still a deadly opponent.

"When... When I was in my gem, I met someone that looked exactly like me. Is that what you're talking about?" Jasper said, looking to Pearl. Before she could respond though, Zircon responded.

"However that may be, we don't know her loyalties. She fought with Homeworld, so how can we trust her now?" Said Zircon, as she wished sorely that she had her sword right now. "If you're here to fight us, you wasted quite the opportunity. If you're intentions are peaceful, then submit to being detained. If not, well, you can see how outnumber you are." Zircon said, before Jasper huffed.

"Fine, I submit." Jasper said. Zircon looks to Garnet before speaking.

"Garnet, take her into your room. It seems to be the most secure. Maybe let Steven talk to her later, he apparently has a way with these things." Zircon said, before returning to her place on the couch. Garnet simply nods and grabs Jasper by the arm before taking her into the burning room. The rest of the gems ease up, before taking their own seats, except for Peridot. She stands there awkwardly, before finally speaking up.

"So, who is next on this tour business?" Peridot said, looking between the people gathered in the living room. In response, the temple door opened up to reveal Garnet.

"More importantly, there's something we need you to see." Garnet said, making Peridot nervous with her tone.

"And what would that be?" She asked, hoping that the answer wasn't what she expected. Unfortunately, the answer was just as she suspected.

"The cluster." Garnet said, before stepping to the side for Peridot to enter the room. She slowly approaches the door and takes a deep breath as she enters the room, with the door shutting behind her. In the room, she sees the massive amount of gems hanging everywhere which causes her to panic.

"Gah! What is this place? What are you going to do to me? Where's Jasper?" She said, before turning to Garnet, who was calm as always.

"Relax, we're not going to hurt you. Jasper is in another room right now, as she can't be trust in a room containing thousands of corrupted gems. I just need you to go to the cluster and... Talk to it, I think." She said. Peridot's face turned to a look of terror as she looked around the room. Finally, her eyes land on the bubble containing the cluster, and she nervously begins to approach it.

"H... Hello?" Peridot said, which causes the cluster to glow brightly before letting out a massive roar. Both Peridot and Garnet took up a defensive stance in anticipation for whatever the cluster was about to do. Peridot closed her eyes to shield them from the light, but when she opened them, she was in a place she had never seen before.

Peridot looked over the area she was an, a figured it was some sort of gemscape. The area she was standing in looked pure white, while to each direction was a different landscape. To the north was a barren tundra, to the east was lush forest, to the south was rugged mountains, and to the west was molten terrain. As Peridot observed her surroundings, a booming voice resounded throughout the entire place.

"Peeeeeeridoooooot!" She fell down, and began to frantically look around. From each of the directions a bright light shined, and four gems took form. A Sapphire, and Emerald, a Citrine, and an Onyx all stood before her. The Emerald was tall, thin, and regal. Her waist length green hair was braided, and she wore loose but functional combat gear. The Citrine was medium height, just slightly shorter than Peridot, with short, red hair, and a stocky build. Finally, the Onyx tall and forboding, with her height and muscle putting even Jasper to shame. Her skin was pitch black and she had shoulder length gray hair.

"Are... Are you the shards of the cluster?" Peridot said, still looking between the four, filled with terror. The only response she received was a simultaneous nod from the four gems. Peridot stared at all of them for a long time before speaking again.

"What do you want from me? Are you going to shatter me, or something worse?" Peridot's shouting was met only with silence. Eventually, the Emerald responded.

"You're here to answer for what you did to us. You making the cluster out of shattered gems is an abomination against gemkind, and nature itself." Emerald said, leaving Peridot even more scared.

"But..." Citrine said, getting Peridot's attention again. "By doing that, you've given us a chance to live again."

"Yes, I thank you for what you did. I don't know if it was by design, or by chance, but the people that you forced us together with were people we trusted and loved." The Sapphire said. Peridot was finally starting to relax slightly.

"We thank you for what you did, we'd even being willing to become your friend. All of us except for Emerald." Onyx said, as the three cluster shards looked to Emerald, who looked less than pleased. Peridot's worry began to resurface.

"I just... Want to know... When you were working on the cluster, did you see us as people who you knew you were torturing, or did you really think we were all dead and gone?" Emerald said, barely able to keep her voice steady. Peridot stood still, slightly shocked by how the Emerald was behaving. Peridot slowly stands up and finally composes herself before looking at Emerald, who had her eyes to the ground.

"When I start work on the cluster... I really thought you were all just inert shards... If I had know that there was still something left in you guys... I might have tried to stop the experiment. You have to believe me." Peridot said, still slightly shaky. A single tear falls down Emerald's face before she looks up at Peridot.

"Thank you." Emerald said, before all everything vanished in a flash of light. When Peridot's eyes adjusted, they were all gone. When Peridot looked to her feet, the white floor had grown almost double its size, and was still expanding. When she looked back, a simple white table with a small note on it was before her. Curious, Peridot walked to the table and picked up the note. The message was very simple.

"Thank you. -Rainbow Tourmaline" Peridot read out loud, before another blinding flash engulfed everything.

 **Author's Note:** So, I'm pretty excited now. I've made it to 4000+ views. I got inspired to finish this chapter because of today's episode. I know I said I wasn't a fan of Garnet before, but that was amazing. Anyway, back to reviews.

To F-ckthesystem125: Ask and ye shall receive. lol.


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